Body image and looks are of course a big part of sexuality. Many people base their attractions solely on looks. Many people look for a certain type of body or look that turns them on and have no interest in anything else.
We understand that. When we first started swinging we were only looking for people that we thought were "hot" and under 30. We would routinely blow off any couple that was over 30 no matter how hot they looked. We were in our mid-20's. That's what we felt comfortable with at the time. We also at that point, in general, were only interested in thinner or HWP people. We had no interest in the BBW scene at that time. Were we young and vain? I think we were a normal 20 something couple getting started in the lifestyle. We had more rules and limits when we started.
I remember long ago being at a swingers party. We were approached by a couple that was larger. They asked us if we wanted to play and we told them we weren't interested. They gave us a lecture about how we should be more sex positive. That we should try to play with other types of people and give them a chance. They told us they were both amazing in bed and we were going to miss out and it was our fault. We drove home that night (after not finding anyone else to play with because we were being picky) and talked about it. Where they right? At the time we thought they were sort of crazy. Sex is about attraction right? You've gotta find someone to be physically attractive to enjoy having sex with them right?
To that end sometimes I wonder if swingers are sort of superficial in a way? We often decide if we're interested in another couple based on looks. We also often decide based on just a few small thumbnail sized pix on a web site. But something we've learned over the years is that good sex isn't all about looks.
So I've mentioned before that I go to a GB club that I love. Maria goes as well and always loves the parties. When I first found out about these parties I went on my own a few times. Maria wanted me to check it out and let her know what I thought before she went. It was a little different than any other swinger type thing I had ever gone to before in one big way. It was assumed that you would be participating in the sexual activity. The rules of the club where that watching all night wasn't allowed. But when you signed up for the parties you never knew who was going to be there. Every party has 30 guys and 5 ladies and you never knew who the guys or ladies would be. No pix or profiles to look at beforehand. A total mystery.
For years when I started in the lifestyle I would have never considered going to a party where I didn't know what the ladies looked like. Maria would have never gone to a party where she couldn't see/approve of all of the guys that would be there. I think this is pretty much standard for most swingers. They want to know what they're getting into! These GB parties were very different.
I went to the party and it turned out to be like a lot of swinger parties I had been to before in terms of the crowd. Some of the ladies were really hot. Some of them not as much. The guys were the same way. A wide range of ages and looks and body types. But everyone was really friendly and the whole scene was really hot. The parties were really well organized and well run. They would start fairly early and on time. The sex would last for hours. I loved the few parties I went to on my own and convinced Maria that she should try it as well. She LOVED it! Now she goes every few months. We're going next weekend as a matter of fact.
She's discovered something interesting over the past year or two going to the parties. It seems like often how good the sex is has nothing to do with how attracted she is to the person physically. Sometimes she's see a guy who she thinks is hot and when he starts to fuck her it isn't happening. There's just something about it. Their rhythm? The chemistry? Who knows but the sex isn't that great. Then sometimes a guy who she would never think of approaching will start to fuck her and it's AMAZING. He'll hit all the right buttons for some reason. It's kind of weird that there seems to be this disconnect sometimes. Of course the most awesome thing is when the guy is hot and he's good in bed!
But we've talked about it. She's said that she's often surprised because the guys who she had the most fun with that night are guys that if she had seen them on a swingers web site are the ones she would have never thought twice about. Skip. Onto the next profile. But in person, in real life, if you give them a chance they can be amazing.
I think that's why we love these GB parties so much? They just have a really fun sex positive atmosphere. People aren't judged solely on their looks. Maria will fuck lots of different guys and is so often surprised by the guys who really hit her buttons. It's sort of a joyful night of discovery. We both feel like they've made us more open as people just in general. Never underestimate the capacity of individual humans to amaze you! Can't wait till next Saturday when we go again. :-)
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