Rejection

I try to keep this blog positive for the most part. Even when I've done the "swinger nightmare" stories I've tried to keep them light and funny. But I've had a few recent experiences that have reminded me that swinging is sometimes kind of tough. You've gotta have a thick skin. You've gotta get used to being rejected.

It's a Saturday night. Right now there are two different hotel parties that are going on that we wanted to go to. Hotel parties with multiple couples playing with each other. Swinger orgies. Our fantasy. But we weren't invited. We were rejected. So we played together and fun together. I made Maria cum really hard and she passed out and went to sleep. So really I had a fantastic night and shouldn't complain but... here I am writing this blog post...

Sometimes it reminds me of high school. Mean girls and cliques. The same old thing. The cool/hot kids and the dorks. Feeling insecure and fat and ugly and dorky and shit.

The first party I knew we were long shots. I had seen their profile on SLS about a week ago. A couple where the guy was in his 40's and she was in her 20's. Their profile picture was a picture of her from behind. She had an amazing ass in a thong. Skinny and hot. They said they had parties every month or two with 4 or 5 couples and to write to them if you were interested in joining. I sent them a note asking them if we were worthy. It took them a few days to write back. It was nice of them to at least respond. They told us that they weren't interested. I noticed that they had a "hot date" ad up for tonight. They were having a party with 2 or 3 couples and were looking for a couple or two more to join them. I knew there was no point in sending them a note. They had already rejected us just a few days ago. Fuck. They're probably in a hotel room right now having an orgy and an amazing time. Fuck.

The second one was another couple that put up a hot date ad in SLS for a party tonight. They were pretty much our age. He was a bigger guy than me. She was skinnier than Maria and looked hot. They were also hosting a hotel party tonight and were looking for couples to join them. I looked at their certs. The other couples that had certified them were about our age and looked similar to us. I thought we had a good chance. I sent them a nice note. Nothing. No response. They even changed their ad after I sent them a note saying that they "were still looking for one more couple". Sigh... They are probably also right now having fun in a hotel room with 3 or 4 couples while we're at home.

This kind of thing happens all the time. I've learned at this point that you never know. Maybe Maria isn't attractive to the other couple? Maybe I look like too much of a dorky nerd? Who knows?

A few months ago a couple that we thought were "friends" put up a hot date ad on SLS looking for a bi lady to join them for the night. The lady's fave guy friend was going to be in town for night. He was a pro athlete and had an amazing cock. They were looking for a lady to join her and him for a 3sum. Maria was up for it and I was fine with her going out and joining her and him. They had talked about this guy before and how amazing he was when they had met before. We wondered why they didn't ask us about Maria joining the fun in the first place? We had told them that Maria wanted to play with him and her. We wrote back to them and reminded them that Maria would be happy to join in. They told us that he wasn't going to be able to make it. That it had been cancelled.

We ran into them at a party a few weeks later. The guy in the couple had a few beers and loosened up and started to talk about the amazing time his wife had recently with the pro athlete and another lady. They obviously lied to us. Sigh...

In many social situations I'm sure this would be considered a betrayal. A stab in the back. Something that could never be forgiven. But if we went to a party in a another month or so and they were there we would probably talk to them and act like nothing happened and play together. That's just how it is in the lifestyle. It sounds crazy but you try to not worry about stuff like that and move on.

Every day I get messages from guys and couples that I blow off and reject. We couldn't possibly have sex with all the people who send us notes. It's just not possible. It's all part of this game. It can eat you up or you can learn to deal with it. We've learned at this point that being rejected is part of the "lifestyle". If you can't deal with it you won't last long.

But a little part of me is still sitting here tonight thinking about what could have been...  damn...  it would have been fun to be rolling around in an orgy right now instead of staying at home for the night watching baseball, listening to tunes, and playing Civ 5. (not that I don't enjoy watching baseball, listening to tunes, and playing Civ 5!) and part of me knows that we already have some super amazing sexy plans already set up for the next week or two. So it's all good in the end!

But yes. Being rejected is a BIG part of swinging. You've gotta learn to deal with it. What is that song? Pleasure and Pain. I obviously still think it's worth it. For all the rejections that happen the good times that happen far out weigh the negatives. It's totally worth it in the end.