Etiquette

We've had a few situations recently with issues regarding basic swinger etiquette.

The first time was when we went to a GB party recently. Maria went. Our friend Jill was there. There was also a new lady who was really cute/hot. Karen was her name. The party started and it seemed like most of the guys there only wanted to play with the new lady. Jill and Maria didn't get quite the attention that they usually get. On top of that it seemed like there were about 3 or 4 guys who were really monopolizing the time with Karen, the new lady. They would start playing with her and then go on and on and on and on. Then they would trade off. While the rest of the guys were standing around and waiting. But none of the guys who were waiting were playing with Jill and Maria. It was sort of messed up. At one point while one of the guys was fucking Karen from behind I got in front of her and she gave me a fantastic blowjob. It seemed like she wanted to play with me more but the guys who was fucking her just kept on going on and on.

So I played with Jill and Maria all night it seemed. It wasn't the worst thing in the world! I kept on looking over at Karen but it seemed like she was busy all night long. At one point towards the end of the party I thought I had my chance. I was putting on a condom but one of the dudes who had been playing with her all night got in there before I had a chance. I should have tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, would you mind if I got a turn with Karen? I've been waiting all night." But I didn't say anything. I thought he would figure it out. I thought he would "get it". But he didn't. He banged her for about 20 minutes straight while we all watched and then she was worn out. WTF dude? It wasn't just him. It was three or four guys who just didn't get it. At a GB party when there are a bunch of guys take turns. This is basic kindergarten 100 level shit.

On the other hand sometimes I think we're spoiled. Maria got fucked by three different guys and I played with her also. She played with Jill. A couple of guys came all over Maria's face. She was dripping in cum. At one point Jill and our friend Jessica were both giving me a double hand job. I also played with Maria and Jill, a little threesome in the middle of the party. So I played with four different ladies in one night. I fucked Maria and Jill and got blow jobs from Karen and Jessica. For most people this would be a night that they would never forget. So perhaps I/we shouldn't complain? But we've been to these parties before. It was a little disappointing.

Then we had a situation on SLS around the same time. I recently put up the ad in the hot date section about Maria meeting a couple while I stayed at home. Perhaps is where some of the confusion came in...

There is this couple who have been chatting with me on SLS for about three or four or five years now. It's been a long time. It has been pretty obvious to me for a long time that it's the guy who has been talking to me and that he's totally in lust with Maria and her amazing breasts. That's fine. I GET it! lol

But he's been dragging this shit out for years. We'll chat and I'll say that we would be happy to meet. They live close. They seem nice. Maria and I have both looked their pix and think they both look nice. All is good on our end. He'll send me pix of their pool and hot tub and sauna and talk about how they would love to invite us over and we can hang out and get to know each other, and then nothing happens.

Perhaps some of this is our fault. We know that we're busy. We often play with the friends we already know. But they have always seemed like a good couple for us. They live close. She's bi. Maria thinks both of them look nice. I would love to play with her from what I can tell. It seems like a good match.

About a year ago after talking for so long he wrote to me and told me that they had met several couples and they were having fun with them and they didn't have the time to meet anyone new. At the time I remember I was a little grumpy. We had been talking for years. What the heck? I decided it wasn't a big deal. Didn't hear from them for a year. Then I put up the hot date ad about Maria wanting to play with another couple. Then I got a message from him again.

He was curious if Maria wanted to join him and his wife for 3sum. As mentioned in a previous post Maria had already done that. I asked him if he would like to finally meet just the 4 of us. Once again he sent me pix of his pool and new sauna. He said he would check with his wife. After a bit he got back to me. They would be happy to get together with Maria for a 3sum but his wife just wasn't into me. Sorry.

Now...  my swinger "spidey sense" had been telling me for years that this was going on. That he was into Maria but she just wasn't into me. That's fine. I get it. These things happen. Who knows? Maybe I look like a cousin or an ex boyfriend or whatever. She just isn't into tall slightly nerdy looking guys. That's OK. But come on. This has been going on for at least three years. I've had the feeling from the beginning that she was the one who wasn't into it. It's really not polite to drag things out like this for years and years and years if your wife isn't into it.

When couples contact us and things start to seem a little more serious I run the couples past Maria. She gives me a thumbs up or a thumbs down. It's pretty simple. I also try to do it fairly quickly. If a couple contacts us and seems really interested if I don't run them by Maria after a day or two I feel bad. I think it's not nice to leave people hanging. So for me a day or two or maybe a week at the most is what I go for in terms of letting people know what's up. It just seems like the polite thing to do. So after talking to this couples for years and having him tell me after all this time that his wife wasn't interested in meeting me sort of made me and Maria grumpy.

Two swinger etiquette issues in a row. Fortunately life goes on and we already have some awesome fun plans lined up for the next month or two. Hopefully some more fun blog posts will appear soon!