The Double Standard

So we've been doing this swinger/lifestyle/poly/open relationship stuff for over 20 years. Gotta say a few things about the what we call the swinger double standard.

So many couples are looking for the "unicorn". The bi lady for a 3sum. The FMF 3sum. Two ladies sucking on my dick. Heaven. Every guy's ultimate fantasy. We've done it. With the right lady it is amazing and so much fun! With the wrong lady it kind of sucks...

Then there is the single guy. So many couples in the lifestyle won't even talk to them. They are evil. Everything that is wrong with swinging. Swinging is supposed to be about couples. Men harsh on that. They are aggressive and rude and only think with their dicks. Single guys have it rough in the lifestyle.

Well guess what? We've found out over the years that guys are a lot like girls. Some of them are awesome and amazing, and some of them suck!

The "standard" arrangement in swinging is married couples / bi lady / straight guy / same room. Couples swap partners. Ladies play with each other. The ideal is that the ladies play with each other first and give the guys a show and then the guys join in. Sometimes both ladies are straight and it's just straight swap. Separate room is sort of different but accepted. Groups are fun. Adding more people to the mix with these basic rules is cool. In general BDSM is frowned upon. Bi stuff among the guys back in the day was/is completely forbidden. No gay shit. These days bi guys are a little more accepted but not really...

But the main thing/desire/fantasy still for so many couples is a bi lady for a 3sum. Also, couples are supposed to play together. It's very rare for couples to play apart. It's supposed to be about the couple together.

so...  THE DOUBLE STANDARD

at last...

"In general" as the guy. If I try to meet a couple/lady in the lifestyle I'm branded as a creep. Just another "cheater" who doesn't understand the "lifestyle". Just another guy who wants to get laid. Fuck. Get his cock wet.

but if it's my wife looking on her own? BRING IT ON! lol!

No questions asked. No, "can we give him/her a call and make sure it's OK?" She just meets the lucky man/woman/couple/etc! for some fun!

It's a total double standard. Everyone is looking for the mythical hot bi babe but any guy who is looking on his own (especially if he is part of a couple) is branded as a sex freak/deviant/leper!

I suppose the "problem" with my wife and I is that we've been doing this for so long. Over 20 years at this point. So swinging isn't a big deal. Having sex with other people? No biggie... It's almost unimaginable to 99% of people out there that my wife would rather stay at home on some nights and read a good book and doesn't mind at all if I go out and play on my own and fuck other people. But she also knows that we went out together the weekend before to a GB and had an amazing time together, and she knows she has a date in a few weeks to meet her friend with the huge cock on her own (and probably with his wife and GF as well) while I stay at home. ;-)