Swinging was REALLY different when we first started. The biggest massive difference is the internet and the web. When we first started doing this stuff it was really hard to meet new people. You pretty much could talk to your friends and see if they were into it. You could put an ad in a swinger magazine and exchange photocopies of polaroid pix that you sent in self addressed return envelops. We found that we had the best success back then going to the local swingers club and meeting people face to face.
Then, once you met another couple or single you were thrilled! In our experience, and from talking to other couples who have been doing this for a while, if you found someone back in the day you tended to make it a more regular thing. You would stick with the same people. Play with them again and again. In our opinion this made for better sex. You got to know the other people more and learn what would really get them off.
Then along came the internet. We like to think of ourselves as internet swinging pioneers. We did it all. Usenet. BBS. Email. Then when the web came along all hell broke lose! It was in many ways a swinger paradise. All of a sudden you could cruise for couples from your living room. Chat with them. Set up dates. More and more people were signing up on the swinger web sites. We have lifetime free memberships on a few sites because we were among the first people to sign up. It was glorious! All of a sudden it became so much easier to meet people.
We do think there has been a dark side to this however. Once again, in our humble opinion and experience, we think it has made more couples who will only meet once or twice. Then they move on.
I think there a few reasons for this. It's hard enough for two people to be hot for each other enough to want to hook up a bunch of times. Add one or two people in the mix and it makes it that much harder. It seems like at least one of the people isn't going to be into it as much as the others. Back in the day you were so thrilled to find another couple that you would put up with it not being "perfect". It hardly ever is anyway. Now I think couples are always looking for something better.
These days you go out on a date with another couple or single. You really click and have a great time together. You end up fucking each other for hours and the sex is amazing. Then you go home, open up the web site, and see another couple that looks hot. So you decide to meet them the next time you're free instead of meeting the couple that you had so much fun with.
I think also, to be honest, the chase is half of the fun sometimes. Those initial emails. The excitement of meeting and talking to someone new that you're attracted to and seems to be attracted to you. It's a rush! So once again the web makes it so easy to do that over and over again.
I also think that this is one of the reason there are so many "fakes" on the swinger web sites. I think there are a lot of people out there that are really turned on by the thought of all of this but can't actually do it for real. But they get off on the whole "rush" of the chase and initial erotic attraction. Catfish I suppose. We've gotten pretty good at this point at figuring out who the fakers are. Pretty much all you have to do is ask to have the ladies talk to each other on the phone. VV. Voice verification.
Anyway, fortunately we've been lucky recently and we've met some really great people. We seem to be getting into a situation where we have enough "special" friends that we really like and we're happy to meet over and over again. It's actually been a little weird recently because we haven't had as much time to meet new people. I kind of miss it! Maria likes more of the comfort factor. We really like our current batch of friends and hope to see them again and again for as long as they are willing.
But you never know... people move on for one reason or another. That is something you have to get used to and learn to almost expect in the "lifestyle". But we've also met a lot of great people over the years. We have a bunch of people that we would be happy to see again. But there's only so much time sometimes! So just like many things in life it goes both ways. The good and the bad. But we think the good far outweighs the bad when it comes to swinging!
speaking of... gotta write a "swinger nightmare" story soon.
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