Two more recent articles

Well one is an article and one is a podcast.

http://www.salon.com/2015/03/16/the_year_long_open_marriage_experiment_what_this_woman_learned_could_save_your_sex_life/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/11/love-and-sex-podcast-sex-party_n_6846826.html

I thought the Love and Sex podcast was really interesting. I would like to check out one of those parties! The "more experienced" couple they talk to could easily be Maria and myself. What I really liked about it is that it really emphasized that people in open relationships often have a better relationship because they've had to learn how to talk to each other and communicate. We think this is totally true. We totally think that swinging has helped us have a better relationship over the years. We've been married for over 20 years, we've both had sex with a bunch of other people, but we feel like we've never "cheated" on each other. Furthermore when we've had issues come up with swinging, and everything else that comes in a long term relationship, we've learned how to talk to each other and work things out. So yes, we think having an open relationship is good for a marriage.

I also found the Salon article really interesting for different reasons. It seems like opening up their marriage was really good for the lady in the article but perhaps not so much for the man? But it also sounds like their marriage was on the rocks and doomed anyway. One of the things we've noticed over the years is that swinging or having an open relationship doesn't really change the basic foundations of a marriage. Some couples who are having issues with each other try swinging and it's a disaster. They seem to be the ones who end up on Jerry Springer. Whereas other couples who have a great relationship have no problems with it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's only sex. Sex is just one part of a marriage. If there are a bunch of problems with the marriage that aren't sex related swinging isn't going to help or hurt. It's just sex. It's not going to change the other stuff.

Unless you learn to talk to each other and listen and communicate and have empathy for your partner. Then maybe you can work out that other stuff.  :-)

The other thing that really struck me about the Salon article was the whole thing about people in successful open relationships somehow being superior to couples who can't handle that sort of thing. We're better people because we're more open, have less hangups, don't have the same issues with jealousy, etc. I had never considered this before. Is this very blog sort of smug and self centered and making me/us seem superior to all the "normals" out there?

(Dan Savage calls the folks who don't get poly/swinging/open relationships/BDSM/etc. Muggles!)

So we have the awesome superior sex positive folks on one side and the muggles on the other? I never thought of it that way. I'm just trying to have a little fun. Put up some of the stories I've written and maybe give a little helpful advice.